Butler's Quote

"Satu-
satunya hal yang tak
ada di dunia ini adalah
'kepastian'"

what I should do?

i don't know what my life would be...
I want to face it positively, but as i looked to my condition, it's so hard to do
but i dont want to let myself go down
but im really worried about what's gonna happen
i cant hope to be helped,
cause iam not sure i cant reply their kindness
how to help my life by myself?
I have no idea about what i should do
i just can hope,
but hoping without doing is useless
So, what?
What I should do?

don't blame me. S.0.S

God,
tonight
i really feel I WANNA KILL HIM, my father
if he don't go, may be i will
i can't hold on this feeling anymore
I CAN NOT AND I DON'T WANT to have a fuckin' jerk father like him,
NO!
why?
I just keep asking that
in envy
why i don't have a supported, fascinating fam like another
why it happen to me?
Am I as strong as You think?
Cant i go on, move on, solve this problem?
Can't I??
Can I?
What should I do God?
May be im just an arrogant man who get my punishment
im not thinking about that
but i think about 'what next?'
what's gonna happen to me?
I can't hoping that dummy2 spoil parents, especially he
can give me a life
can fulfill my fam need
what should I do to get enough money?
To pay the bills, owe
Cause for me, He's dead
i don't n cant depend on anyone but myself
but how?
Show me the way, please
God
before im being crazy
or before i really kill him
or before i cant think rightly and decide to kill myself

uncertainty feeling

honestly, im a bit afraid, confused, and worried
should I keep my prestige or Im trying to keep in my way,,
i've made my decision
i will try to take my responsibility,
i don't want to live in the past,
live in regret,
"let it go, let it go"
i keep spelling it, keep trying to forget about it
i hope what will gonna happen will be the best
and im not feel that regret anymore,
i need spirit
i need my cheerish,
please
it's time to get up and leave behind all of your past
keep believing
and
don't think about another's says
keep on your line
keep on your belief
may be
that's the best to me
I don't focus on famous place,
but i hope and want a better life, future
not to care to others
you have believe
if it yours, it will come to you, if not you have to let go
just follow available way, God's way
just believe it

a bit of confession

honestly, i'm confused and worried about my future
may be i've found my passion,
but im still wondering
"can I get it??"
im afraid of refusing and failure
yeah...
im afraid

God, guide me to Your way, please
bless the way I chose
bless me