jeudi 16 avril 2020

Cintai Nasibmu (Sebuah Pengenalan Prinsip Filosofi Teras)





Hari ini pertama kalinya aku mendengarkan Podcast dari Greatmind di suatu platform. Greatmind adalah suatu Podcaster yang memberikan insight terkait inspirasi, advokasi, dan aspirasi dari para pembicara yang didatangkan. Podcast ini saya dengar dari platform Spotify.  
Di Podcast pertamanya, Greatmind membicarakan tentang buku Filosofi Teras yang dibawakan oleh  penulis buku tersebut yang bernama Henry Manampiring. Melalui siaran ini, aku pun baru menyadari bahwa Filosofi Teras adalah suatu landasan pemikiran yang didasarkan dari ajaran Stoisisme.

Stoisisme sendiri merupakan pandangan yang berlandaskan pada ajaran bahwa “Kebahagiaan itu berasal dari dalam diri. Kau hanya memiliki kontrol penuh atas dirimu, TIDAK pada hal lainnya.”
Hal - hal yang bisa kau kontrol, misalnya : pikiranmu, perkataanmu, dan tindakanmu. Hal lainnya merupakan sesuatu yang tidak dapat kau kontrol dan sebaiknya tidak kau dasarkan kebahagiaanmu pada hal tersebut.

Selain itu, untuk hal - hal yang tidak bisa kau kontrol, terimalah. Terima emosi yang kau miliki dan jalani sebaik yang kau bisa. Mencoba melawan perasaan yang ada atau mencoba mengubah keadaan yang ada dapat membuat keadaanmu semakin buruk.

Tentu saja kau berharap keadaan bisa menjadi lebih baik, dan hal tersebut tidak salah. Kau bisa memulainya dari dirimu. Cobalah temukan akar dari emosi atau perasaan yang ingin kau ubah dan cari solusi akan hal tersebut. Niscaya, kau akan menemukan jalan yang terang untuk mencapai tujuanmu.


The Science of Well-Being


                                      

I’m currently learning and attending course about “The Science of well-being”, hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos. I learn it from Coursera and I found this platform attractive and Coursera give great free courses until this May, in case you’re interested or need activities to do during this sty at home period.



So, it’s my second week to attend the online course.

At the first week, we learnt and took time to measure our own score of happiness through some Quizzes. I tried all the tests and found out that I had a pretty not good grades (lol). We’re going to re-take the quiz at the end of the course and let’s so if there is any changes in that.



At week two, Dr. Santos gave lecture about how things are not actually make us happy. It based on the researches that have been conducted since long time ago. Basicly, good grades, good job, good relationship, good-looking appearance or losing weight don’t really influence our happiness.

Some factors that are found to influence happiness are Genetic (50%), Life Circumstances (10%), and Action/Thoughts (40%).
We can’t change or really do anything to the genetic or life circumstances, so you’d better focus on your action/thoughts. But many people seeks happiness at the wrong direction, so it’s even harder to attain that goal.

PERMA Quiz Result

Example of the Quiz





We can build happiness through simple habits. But we need to do it CONSISTENTLY. And the simple habits that are recommended from this session are Savouring and Gratitude. Savouring means being fully present to what we are doing and genuinely enjoy it. Give yourself time to appreciate the books that you’re reading or the activity that you’re doing. And it’s stated that there are some techniques to enhance this savouring moments such as sharing the experience with another person, thinking about how lucky you are to enjoy such an amazing moment, keeping a souvenir/photo of the moment and it’s highly recommended to spare 5-10 minutes of your time every night to write a gratitude journal and write down 5 things that make you become grateful that day.


Besides savouring, gratitude is a habit that must be developed. Gratitude is positive emotional state  
in which someone appreciates and recognizes what they have in life. This habit is important to do as if oneself doesn’t feel grateful, they will keep on wanting for more and can’t be happy even though they already have more than what they need. In this course, there is one study where people with different salary were studied about their financial situation and if they feel that their salary is enough for living. Based on that research, it turns out that they don’t feel enough and want more salary, even though one of them has earned more than what the average person usually earn. 
This is why gratitude is important in order to reach happiness.


As I mentioned above, I just attended week two for the courses, so I will end the story here and may be I’ll come back and tell more stories later :)
If you’re interested to take the courses, here is the link.

How’s your stay at home moment guys? I hope we can get through this tough moment and this too shall pass.

Stay happy, healthy and maintain yourself! See ya the other time :)  




mardi 7 avril 2020

Conflict Management Resolution


Today, I listened to a Podcast from Inspigo, the speaker was Mr. Fajar Anugerah, a psychology-background speaker. He is from Kinara.id. He talked about “Conflict Management”.

Conflict is caused by difference, either it’s difference in Point of View, in preference or anything.
Even though conflict is usually seen as a bad indicator in relationship, but if the parties are able to manage/resolve the conflict well, we can gain the benefits from it. This theory called desirable difficulties.  

In this podcast, Mr. Fajar Anugerah explained two strategies of how to resolve the conflict. The first solution is from the “person” perspective, how important the person in the conflict/with whom we have the conflict. The second solution is based on the “issue” itself. How important is this issue for you.


Important
Not important
Person
- Compromising
- Collaborate
Avoidance/Withdraw
Issue
Conflicting
Accommodating

That’s the table that I drew based on the explication I heard from Mr. Fajar Anugerah. Let me explain it to you, hopefully, it could help you better understand the topic :)

First,
If you have conflict with important person (ie : your boss) and the issue is also important for you, you have two option to solve the conflict :
1. By compromising : You both compromise about the issue/you compromise with your boss, so the conflict can be resolved in peace.
2. By collaboration : You give all the option possible to your boss (the cause and the effect) and the both of you make collaboration to resolve the problem.

Second,
If the issue important and the person with whom you have conflict means nothing to you. For example, you go to a concert (the important issue) and the someone cut off the line (the person), fight for yourself. This solution is called “conflicting”.

Third,
If the person is important for you, whereas the issue is not, you can choose to accommodate. For example, you go to the restaurant with your mother/father-in law(the person), he wants to eat chicken together with you. At the moment, you don’t really feel like you want to eat, but because you respect your in law, you accommodate their will.

Fourth,
If the person and the issue don’t matter to you, avoid it or withdraw yourself for this unnecessary thing. Better find/do something else and save yourself from unnecessary problems.

Having listened to this podcast, I found this view is interesting and applicable, that’s why I want to share it with you and hopefully, I could help you to resolve your conflict well and to choose the battle wisely.
We don’t always need to win every battle that we’re in, but you must know when it’s important for you, you must fight for it.

I hope you can learn something from what I shared and if you have any comment or thoughts, please don’t hesitate to leave it on the comment section.

Always be happy, healthy and maintain you beauty! See you the other time :D