samedi 27 avril 2013

EDCO 2013

Good night, everybody. How was your day???
I hope you had a wonderful day like I had today.
Honestly, i can't call it wonderful because in fact not really.

Why??
If you wonder about that, let me tell you my stories today.

Today was my first time to come and became a participant in debate competition.
Can you imagine it? DEBATE!!
i never did it before and i don't know if i want to do it again.
It may be sound simple or usual for you, but for me, following this competition is not something usual.
I don't really like anything that has to do  with debate. It seems a lil' bit scary for me.
First, I don't really like to talk.
I'm not an honest man. I'm not always say what i think straightly. One of my lecture said that it's the habit of Indonesian people. They take everything for granted ant that's why Indonesian people don't get their right. They don't have brave to fight for it. As Indonesian people, for some reasons i have to say that i agree. Well, it happens to me.

Words can hurt. 
That's why I try to use the good words, try to be patient (although i want to scream my dislike sometimes), but yes i don't have enough brave to do that.

Back to debate things,
I was in group with Wuri and Menia.
We did the three debates in pre-eliminary round.
Both of Wuri and Menia did their job very well while i just astonished by the condition of the debate (btw, it was my first debate and i don't exactly know how to do the debate)
We were against the team of IKK, TP 1 and JIAI 1.
To be honest, we thought that our journey would end after the 3rd debate, BUT, surprisingly we become 1 one 8 teams that went through to the quarter  final ( seriously, that time i didn't know what i should feel, happy or sad.)
And when my team competed in the debate against the 1st rank on the list. BLAM!! That was such a dead penalty for me (especially) because i didn't know what my team mate thought.
And as we had been predicted, we lost. We didn't go through to the next round, but we were happy. ( I think i'm the happiest one because i don't want to compete again tomorrow, and my head was filled by the desire to go to IIC). I'[m so sorry guys, i didn't do as good as you both did :(
And I also wanna say my big apology to the boy from JIAI 1, I'm so sorry for what i've done and wherever you are, I hope you can forgive me.

Ok, after doing this debate, i realized that i'm so lack of critical thinking. I couldn't do my job well because i wasn't really well-prepared and then i didn't really think that debate could be so 'hot'. I took many lessons from today and i think i have to fix my lots of mistakes. I need to evaluate myself about that things. I have to realize that I need to grow up, to learn to think critically and generally (means that i have to think about something from many point of views). And thanks a lot to my team mates, my rivals, the adjudicators and my LO that had helped me.

Good luck to all semifinalist that will be competing tomorrow. :D

vendredi 19 avril 2013

Question (?)

Life is the best gift that has been given by God.
Do you agree?
I do, but..................
When your life seems so bad,
what are you going to do?
When you can't hold on your tears,
when you feel lonely without friends, family, and everybody who should have been there
What are you gonna do?
When your life seems so meaningless,
when you have nothing to do,
when you don't know what to do,
what's on your mind?
 "La vie, c'est pas toujours un rose"
I read that words.
And i realize that life is not always as beautiful as we wish, but...
What if you never  're not feel happy with your life?
what if you have no joy in life?
what if there's nothing you can do?
what if you lose yourself?
What if you don't know what are you doing?
You have no idea 'bout what the meaning of life,

what are you looking for?

"Life without meaning is not a real life"
What if you just become a dead walking man?
You do your daily activities, you live but not fully alive,
You're just walking without knowing where to go,
What will you do?

You know, 
I have no idea about what i'm going through.
I don't know what i exactly feel,
but i'm lost.
Many questions start to spin around in my head 
Have you ever getting tired of you life?Have you ever felt meaningless?
Have you ever wonder about your existence?
Have you asked 'bout your life?

Why are we here?
What am I doing?

 

   

UNtitled

ketika hidup tak lagi berarti,
apa tidak lebih baik memilih mati?
ketika hati tak tahu ke mana harus menuju,
apa tidak lebih baik jika aku pergi?
ketika tak ada lagi yang ingin dilakukan,
ketika tidak ada jalan yang bisa dituju,
ke mana harus melangkah?
ketika tiada tempat untuk kembali,
tiada teman untuk berbagi,
apa yang harus dilakukan?
ketika waktu seakan berhenti,
meninggalkanmu sendiri di batas cakrawala,
membiarkanmu terombang-ambing di antara gelap dan terang,
hidup atau mati,
apa yang akan kau perbuat?
saat tak ada lagi yang bisa kau percaya,
saat tak ada lagi niat untuk berdiri,
saat hidup terasa begitu sulit,
apa yang bisa dilakukan?
mencari jalan keluar?
sembunyi?
atau berlari?
berlari itu mudah..
masalah akan hilang sementara,
tapi rasa sesal akan terus menghantui tanpa henti.
Sembunyi itu tak sulit,
tapi tetap kita tak akan bisa bersembunyi.