ive been loving you since soo long, but yeah i never told you and that's not your fault if my heart broken right now. i know that. i hope best for you. i'll close this page and feel like this feeling never exist. move on, may be that's what i need or may be a lover? the one who can replace you? im not thinking about it yet but i know one thing. i have to let you go. bye

Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

musician i think

you can ask me and if i know, i'll give you the answer :D thanks

What was the most interesting place you've traveled to?

i want to travel around the world. and i'll do it someday :)

you can ask me and if i know, i'll give you the answer :D thanks

What's your favorite sport?

running :D

you can ask me and if i know, i'll give you the answer :D thanks

Butler's Quote

"Satu-
satunya hal yang tak
ada di dunia ini adalah
'kepastian'"

what I should do?

i don't know what my life would be...
I want to face it positively, but as i looked to my condition, it's so hard to do
but i dont want to let myself go down
but im really worried about what's gonna happen
i cant hope to be helped,
cause iam not sure i cant reply their kindness
how to help my life by myself?
I have no idea about what i should do
i just can hope,
but hoping without doing is useless
So, what?
What I should do?

don't blame me. S.0.S

God,
tonight
i really feel I WANNA KILL HIM, my father
if he don't go, may be i will
i can't hold on this feeling anymore
I CAN NOT AND I DON'T WANT to have a fuckin' jerk father like him,
NO!
why?
I just keep asking that
in envy
why i don't have a supported, fascinating fam like another
why it happen to me?
Am I as strong as You think?
Cant i go on, move on, solve this problem?
Can't I??
Can I?
What should I do God?
May be im just an arrogant man who get my punishment
im not thinking about that
but i think about 'what next?'
what's gonna happen to me?
I can't hoping that dummy2 spoil parents, especially he
can give me a life
can fulfill my fam need
what should I do to get enough money?
To pay the bills, owe
Cause for me, He's dead
i don't n cant depend on anyone but myself
but how?
Show me the way, please
God
before im being crazy
or before i really kill him
or before i cant think rightly and decide to kill myself

uncertainty feeling

honestly, im a bit afraid, confused, and worried
should I keep my prestige or Im trying to keep in my way,,
i've made my decision
i will try to take my responsibility,
i don't want to live in the past,
live in regret,
"let it go, let it go"
i keep spelling it, keep trying to forget about it
i hope what will gonna happen will be the best
and im not feel that regret anymore,
i need spirit
i need my cheerish,
please
it's time to get up and leave behind all of your past
keep believing
and
don't think about another's says
keep on your line
keep on your belief
may be
that's the best to me
I don't focus on famous place,
but i hope and want a better life, future
not to care to others
you have believe
if it yours, it will come to you, if not you have to let go
just follow available way, God's way
just believe it

a bit of confession

honestly, i'm confused and worried about my future
may be i've found my passion,
but im still wondering
"can I get it??"
im afraid of refusing and failure
yeah...
im afraid

God, guide me to Your way, please
bless the way I chose
bless me

Feeling?! IDK

You don't know
You will never know about what i feel inside
What kind of hurt i feel
You don't know
what i feel right know
How much tears had fallen down
You don't know
What happened to me
How hard
I can bear it anymore
not long
I dont know
How to keep myself in line
When my brain was going to explode
When i couldn't control my heart again
When i thought like world is against me
When i thought there's no fairness in this world
There's nothing i have
I don't know how to solve all of my problems
Where's the way out?

SHE by Cho Kyuhyun

She
May be the face i can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price
i have to pay
She may be the song that
summer sings
May be the chill that autumn
brings
May be a hundred different
things
Within the measure of a day.

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven
or a hell
She may be the mirror of my
dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may
seem
Inside her shell

She who always seems so happy
in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private
and so proud
No one's allowed to see them
when they cry
She may be the love that cannot
hope to last
May come to me from shadows
of the past
That i'll remember till the day i
die

She
May be the reason i survive
The why and wherefore i'm alive
The one i'll care for through the
rough and ready years
Me i'll take her laughter and her
tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes i've got to
be
The meaning of my life is she

source:someone's blog

what??

if tears can be erased
why i can't stop crying,
if everything is right
why i never felt happy
if there's someone who cares
why i always feel lonely
if a family should have been the place to share, to protect
why i never felt it
i never thought that i have a 'real' family
yeah, not only family
i always feel that everything is fake for me
nothing real
im alone
and i will always feel it

if there's savior,
i know YOU will send that for me
no matter what
i know that YOU never leave me although else does

if the tears can be erased
im sure
it can
someday

my secret crush

when i met you,
i dont feel anything at first
im here and there you
but day by day
you make a special moment which make me smile
that's something that get my attention

for three years we are together,
now i always thinking about you,
always smiling when remember about you
i wonder about what i feel then i know that i feel something different to you
something that i didnt feel to another man

*you're my secret crush
who can make my day wonderful everytime i see your smile
you're the one who can get my attention and my feeling
eventhough may be you dont know
you...
My secret crush

time passed by,
your magic is hypnotizing me,
i cant take my eyes off you
but why,
why cant you see what i feel?
*

may be many people say about monkey love
but you always be my secret crush :)

GALAU

i decide to giving up about you 'cause i don't get anything about your feeling
im wondering,
asking,
cant you see that?
Everytime we get closer, i give you a sign, clue about what i feel
but i dont see anything in yourself
everything become blur not clearer
im confused about it
so, i think it's better to try to forget you eventhough im still consider it
hope the best for us, just it i can say

about his dream

i know about your dream tomorrow
w.o.w i've just known about your dream, to be a doctor. But it doesnt matter, ill pray in order to you can make your dream become true.
It's like im step forward,
im really happy to know about that
and im support you
i hope you can reach your dream and so am i.
Let's fight together (♥ε♥)

Dunno-w

dunno what happened to me, why every single moment with you can make my feel like flying and then why you push me down?
Dunno why you become so special
dunno since when,
what I know is you've already in my mind, in my heart
without warning
Should i hate it?
I wish I could,,
but it's so bad that you can make me smile at my bad day and you can ruin my good day just because a little think about you
Gosh!
How i can control this feeling?

7 Keajaiban Dunia ( 7 Wonders)

“Tujuh
Keajaiban Dunia”adalah :
1.Bisa melihat
2.Bisa mendengar
3.Bisa menyentuh
4.Bisa menyayangi
(Dia ragu sebentar,dan
kemudian melanjutkan…
5.Bisa merasakan
6.Bisa Tertawa
7.Dan bisa mencintai

Still Wondering

tonight (or in this morning), i still wondering about who i am, what i want, what i should do, what the best
i dont know have i found out it? I cant guess.
Im wondering about my life. It's so hard to always pretend like you're fine, but not. It's hard to decay yourself. It's hard to me, but i cant not do it too.
What to do, i still searching and i believe that the best way has been waiting for me.
God, help me to find it, please. Thanks