Desperation

somebody had better killing me than letting me in this situation im desperatly panic, hopeless, think to die, and other sucks feelings. o god, i cant help this feeling. i even hate myself for being like this, but........ i dont know, i think i need to blame somebody but who's right to be blamed anyway? there's nobody to be blamed and i start to blame myself. i really want to jump on from the high place or whatever. my mind is fulled by desperation. oh god, i really cant help myself.