Life Purpose from Mark Manson’s view

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson (Indonesian Version)

Last night,

I watched Mark Manson’s IG TV and I found a very interesting videos, one that make me feel struck the most is about ‘Life Purpose’

Mark Manson is an author. A prominent writer. I have one of his book, The Art of Not Giving a F**k and I plan to buy the other book which is Everything is F*cked, A Book About Hope.

His writing style is very honest and interesting for me. His book talks about life. It’s considered as self-development book if you go to book store. And it’s surely is.

Well, back to his IG TV, I found some videos, I watched all of them (there are 4 videos) and I think the Life Purpose is the most memorable one for me.

In that video, he said that Life Purpose is something that we enjoy doing. If we do thing wholeheartedly, it means that we do something purposeful. That’s it.

I’m blown away by that simplicity.

You know, people go here and there, thinking, spending many times asking theirselves about what we are doing, what their life purpose is, what the meaning of their life. (It’s honestly what I’ve been thinking recently).

And there it is. The answer that we’ve been looking for. Or I’m looking for. Out of many things, Mark Manson has a very simple yet thoughtful answer that I can’t find myself.

It’s said that all answers are within (I read it somewhere). It might be true. We might tend to look outside or externally to figure out things without trying to look inside first. And that’s why we get lost most of the times. That’s why we don’t or can’t find the right answer. It’s because we look for it at the wrong place.

It’s just my opinion and I’m really glad and inspired by Mark Manson’s words. I wrote this to remind myself (in case one day I’m lost and forget about this).

As i write this, i remember that someone told me or i read it somewhere that "The time that you spent to enjoy the things, it's NOT wasted." 

So, I hope that you  I will always remember that life is a journey. You  I don’t have to figure everything out very soon. Negative feeling like : sadness, disappointment or worry, it’s normal. Accept the feeling. It’s okay to not feel okay about what happen(happened). When you enjoy the journey, when you enjoy things that you do, the work that you do, the moment that you have, that’s when you have purposeful life. Appreciate it. Don’t be complicated. Or don’t make it complicated.

Images sources :

1. Personal Collection

2. From Google 

Past Shadow

I was haunted by the shadow of the past

I was here and there it is

In my head

I can’t either run or get away from it

I was haunted by unspoken words

Unfinished affairs and action

I was haunted by unanswerable questions

I was haunted by myself

Trying to safe me

Or bring my past back

I was haunted by my past self

To be more open,

To be honest,

To be kinder

To find me

To be more 'human'

I must learn from it

I can’t repeat what I had done

I must bettering myself

I don’t want to be haunted by that shadow anymore

That’s what I say to myself

But one thing to remember,

Action needs to be taken 

Cintai Nasibmu (Sebuah Pengenalan Prinsip Filosofi Teras)

Hari ini pertama kalinya aku mendengarkan Podcast dari Greatmind di suatu platform. Greatmind adalah suatu Podcaster yang memberikan insight terkait inspirasi, advokasi, dan aspirasi dari para pembicara yang didatangkan. Podcast ini saya dengar dari platform Spotify.  

Di Podcast pertamanya, Greatmind membicarakan tentang buku Filosofi Teras yang dibawakan oleh  penulis buku tersebut yang bernama Henry Manampiring. Melalui siaran ini, aku pun baru menyadari bahwa Filosofi Teras adalah suatu landasan pemikiran yang didasarkan dari ajaran Stoisisme.

Stoisisme sendiri merupakan pandangan yang berlandaskan pada ajaran bahwa “Kebahagiaan itu berasal dari dalam diri. Kau hanya memiliki kontrol penuh atas dirimu, TIDAK pada hal lainnya.”

Hal - hal yang bisa kau kontrol, misalnya : pikiranmu, perkataanmu, dan tindakanmu. Hal lainnya merupakan sesuatu yang tidak dapat kau kontrol dan sebaiknya tidak kau dasarkan kebahagiaanmu pada hal tersebut.

Selain itu, untuk hal - hal yang tidak bisa kau kontrol, terimalah. Terima emosi yang kau miliki dan jalani sebaik yang kau bisa. Mencoba melawan perasaan yang ada atau mencoba mengubah keadaan yang ada dapat membuat keadaanmu semakin buruk.

Tentu saja kau berharap keadaan bisa menjadi lebih baik, dan hal tersebut tidak salah. Kau bisa memulainya dari dirimu. Cobalah temukan akar dari emosi atau perasaan yang ingin kau ubah dan cari solusi akan hal tersebut. Niscaya, kau akan menemukan jalan yang terang untuk mencapai tujuanmu.

The Science of Well-Being

                                      

I’m currently learning and attending course about “The Science of well-being”, hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos. I learn it from Coursera and I found this platform attractive and Coursera give great free courses until this May, in case you’re interested or need activities to do during this sty at home period.

So, it’s my second week to attend the online course.

At the first week, we learnt and took time to measure our own score of happiness through some Quizzes. I tried all the tests and found out that I had a pretty not good grades (lol). We’re going to re-take the quiz at the end of the course and let’s so if there is any changes in that.

At week two, Dr. Santos gave lecture about how things are not actually make us happy. It based on the researches that have been conducted since long time ago. Basicly, good grades, good job, good relationship, good-looking appearance or losing weight don’t really influence our happiness.

Some factors that are found to influence happiness are Genetic (50%), Life Circumstances (10%), and Action/Thoughts (40%).

We can’t change or really do anything to the genetic or life circumstances, so you’d better focus on your action/thoughts. But many people seeks happiness at the wrong direction, so it’s even harder to attain that goal.

PERMA Quiz Result

Example of the Quiz

We can build happiness through simple habits. But we need to do it CONSISTENTLY. And the simple habits that are recommended from this session are Savouring and Gratitude. Savouring means being fully present to what we are doing and genuinely enjoy it. Give yourself time to appreciate the books that you’re reading or the activity that you’re doing. And it’s stated that there are some techniques to enhance this savouring moments such as sharing the experience with another person, thinking about how lucky you are to enjoy such an amazing moment, keeping a souvenir/photo of the moment and it’s highly recommended to spare 5-10 minutes of your time every night to write a gratitude journal and write down 5 things that make you become grateful that day.

Besides savouring, gratitude is a habit that must be developed. Gratitude is positive emotional state  in which someone appreciates and recognizes what they have in life. This habit is important to do as if oneself doesn’t feel grateful, they will keep on wanting for more and can’t be happy even though they already have more than what they need. In this course, there is one study where people with different salary were studied about their financial situation and if they feel that their salary is enough for living. Based on that research, it turns out that they don’t feel enough and want more salary, even though one of them has earned more than what the average person usually earn. 

This is why gratitude is important in order to reach happiness.

As I mentioned above, I just attended week two for the courses, so I will end the story here and may be I’ll come back and tell more stories later :)

If you’re interested to take the courses, here is the link.

How’s your stay at home moment guys? I hope we can get through this tough moment and this too shall pass.

Stay happy, healthy and maintain yourself! See ya the other time :)  

Conflict Management Resolution

Today, I listened to a Podcast from Inspigo, the speaker was Mr. Fajar Anugerah, a psychology-background speaker. He is from Kinara.id. He talked about “Conflict Management”.

Conflict is caused by difference, either it’s difference in Point of View, in preference or anything.

Even though conflict is usually seen as a bad indicator in relationship, but if the parties are able to manage/resolve the conflict well, we can gain the benefits from it. This theory called desirable difficulties.  

In this podcast, Mr. Fajar Anugerah explained two strategies of how to resolve the conflict. The first solution is from the “person” perspective, how important the person in the conflict/with whom we have the conflict. The second solution is based on the “issue” itself. How important is this issue for you.

	Important	Not important
Person	- Compromising - Collaborate	Avoidance/Withdraw
Issue	Conflicting	Accommodating

That’s the table that I drew based on the explication I heard from Mr. Fajar Anugerah. Let me explain it to you, hopefully, it could help you better understand the topic :)

First,

If you have conflict with important person (ie : your boss) and the issue is also important for you, you have two option to solve the conflict :

1. By compromising : You both compromise about the issue/you compromise with your boss, so the conflict can be resolved in peace.

2. By collaboration : You give all the option possible to your boss (the cause and the effect) and the both of you make collaboration to resolve the problem.

Second,

If the issue important and the person with whom you have conflict means nothing to you. For example, you go to a concert (the important issue) and the someone cut off the line (the person), fight for yourself. This solution is called “conflicting”.

Third,

If the person is important for you, whereas the issue is not, you can choose to accommodate. For example, you go to the restaurant with your mother/father-in law(the person), he wants to eat chicken together with you. At the moment, you don’t really feel like you want to eat, but because you respect your in law, you accommodate their will.

Fourth,

If the person and the issue don’t matter to you, avoid it or withdraw yourself for this unnecessary thing. Better find/do something else and save yourself from unnecessary problems.

Having listened to this podcast, I found this view is interesting and applicable, that’s why I want to share it with you and hopefully, I could help you to resolve your conflict well and to choose the battle wisely.

We don’t always need to win every battle that we’re in, but you must know when it’s important for you, you must fight for it.

I hope you can learn something from what I shared and if you have any comment or thoughts, please don’t hesitate to leave it on the comment section.

Always be happy, healthy and maintain you beauty! See you the other time :D